Towards the end..

Some words go straight through the heart..
Some houses stand while some fall like a pack of cards..
Love is a form of modern art..
Some get it while some blow it away like a free fart..!!

I got to know what it feels..
Life stood up and then it started to reel..
With a heart soft as a cotton it pretended to be of a steel..
For time flew by but yet I got to know how it feels..!!

Life comes and goes by as a journey..
You got to live it like no tomorrow and not fight for it hiring an attorney..
Pack your bags, tie your boots,,
Save your bushes, pack your roots,,
Life is out there, for you its calling..
Fly away and don't look back even if the sky comes falling..!!

What's gone is gone..
You can not prove it right or even wrong,,
Stand tall, wear it all,,
Walk that long mile, wearing that awesome smile..
There will come that curve and also that bend..
Fear not coz I will see you after this ends..!!

And they bled..

For the tears that trickled down my eyes..
As I sit remembering those golden moments
When seeing you laugh was the every bit of the life in that moment..
When holding your hand was the nirvana of life
When watching your innocense was desired than this pain worse than of a knife..
Life has taken its twists, turned left and right and here I am
counting the tears that trickled down my eyes..

Life was good when you came into it..
Life was better when it fell for you..
Life was the best when it lived for you..
and here I am counting memories of the time that has gone by
coz its the tears that have trickled down my eyes..

There were arguments and there were fights,
There was love and the future of which we had clear sight..
There were sacrifices and the moments of understandings,
There were long ballads and the those moments of short singing..
Going forth let alone be the hugs and kisses there won't be any hello-hi,
coz its the tears that have trickled down my eyes..

There was this dying relation and feelings that were choking,
We were resetting and it will settle down was what we were hoping..
You missed it and I messed it,
You moved and I totally walked over it..
And as you say at times its better let it go with a smile,
coz its the tears that have trickled down my eyes..

The drift..

As time goes on and we grow apart we feel lame but yet we grow smart..

Here we are at the edge of the world,

at the edge of a civilization,

witnessing the end of an era..

We look back,

for whatever it was,

for whatever it will be,

for every penny of its worth of the Que Sera Sera..

As we ponder thinking how it was so good,

things started to change,

feelings became hard and soft became that hard wood..

Time will smile,

time will cry,

time will come,

time will go..

The only thing that shall remain moving will be this lifeless yet pretentious humane show..!!

Bravery - What you see and what I saw!

Brave is not the one who has no fears but the one who sees his fear up front and still smiles to the core..

Brave is not the one who can see profanity right to your face but the one who can screw you with words and no one ever realizes but for him..

Brave is not the one who laughs when all laugh but the one who even laughs when he wants to..

Brave is not the one who would be always standing tall but the one who at times would sit down to ensure you still stand tall..

Brave is not the one who will stand against the flow of river thinking to make it stop but the one who would let it flow and admire its beauty with another stream trickling down..

Brave is not the one who would always speak out without fear but the one who would prefer to stay silent and let the thoughts do the talking..

Brave is not the one who would never get defeated but the one who would work on to make your victory count..

Brave is not the one who is actually brave but the one who is weak and accepts it coz he ain't afraid of being trodden upon...

Baadal barsa aur mann bawra tarsa!!

aaj baadal kuchh aisa barsa,

aankhon se paani behne ko tarsa..

Mann se kuchh nikle is baat ko hua tha ek arsa,

dil mera reh gaya tha akela sa..

Aankhon main ek sailaab sa bhar gaya tha,

aur aaj wo is baarish main nikalne ko utsuk sa tha..

Har samay raha hai mann ko behalane ka prayatan sa,

par aaj wo bawla na maane kuchh bhi aaisa..

Puchha usse maine ke kyon hai tu aisa,

to bola main tha nahi ho gaya hoon aisa..

Dard roka hai sab se chhupa kar,

Dikhayi hai hasi chahe raha ho kitna bhi ro kar,

dekh kar uski aisi vyatha,

dil ke pass kuchh nahi bolne ko tha..

Dil se niklai thodi si hasi,

dekh kar aankhen samajh gayi ke us main bhi wohi tanhai hai basi..

na jaane kab se tha wo bhi tanha,

par dikha wo hamesha sab ke sang tha..

Aaj baadal kuchh aisa barsa,

ke ab aankhon ke saath dil bhi rone ko tha tarsa..!

But I had a thought

Thought i would be never back with the same pen again but here I am…
Thought i would be never back at the same circle again but here I am…
Thought the dam was completely sealed but here are a few re-surfacing cracks…
Thought the goose bumps from the less known path were a goner but here they are…
Thought that it was just a rough patch and here i see myself on the path made of that patch…
Thought the days would be at least a little fun but here they are back haunting me again…
Thought the thoughts are gone but how could i forget that they are mine to stay…
Thought the story of leaving the sick horse behind was history but here is history back as present…
Thought that life was so unfair to me but then I had a thought…

I saw an egg and thought does the life breeding inside knows will it ever materialize, but once alive the chicken never lets it go because it got what I thought was so unfair with me…

I saw a tree and thought does it know how long it is gonna last? Someone may pluck its fruits, cut its branches or may even burn it down but still it enjoys each and every swish that it can get of the fresh air…

I saw a phoenix, it burns yet it lives to the fullest, dies and again is up to live again coz it values the life it’s got…

I saw a kid and thought does he know how much troubles he may have to face in the life? Life may be troublesome but still he lives each and every moment that comes his way…

I saw myself, there was a kid inside me who was dying to live for the today but I was making it to live for tomorrow…

No I don’t want to be a killer of a child
I killed my soul, blamed my body to make the matter mild…

The child has to grow, it’s my soul, it’s my phoenix,
I will not let it die for thinking it to be a jinx…

My soul my child will stay alive,
It will survive as it chose to revive.

To make my soul grow let it live will be my correction,
That will be my repentance my resurrection.

Where am i going...

I was sitting last evening moving speedily, my mind was pondering the bike is moving but where am i going?
I saw the road and it was stationary, people were moving, I was moving, mind had its destination but i didn't knew where am I going...
I sat for a while, closed my eyes, my mind raced to fathom the far away distances but my body was stationary because i didn't knew where i was going...
Reached home, completed my work, lied down for a while and then my mind raced but this time for my body to find an answer for why it doesn't knows where am i going...
Got up this morning and got ready for office, i was going to the office, but still i didn't knew where i am going...
I got hold of the wind rushing by my side and asked it, is this the path where i wish to go? It didn't answer but rushed away even faster.
I asked the dark clouds shadowed over the sky, is this where i wanted to go? Is this what i dreamt to be? Is this what I was passionate for? The clouds too didn't say anything but poured down on me. I couldn't decode the message sent that whether those were the tears of joy that i realized that I am yet to find where I wish to go or were those the tears of sadness that i didn't knew where am I going...
I still don't know where I am going. But do you?
Are you going on the path you wanted to?

Dear Lord,
Today I seek your forgiveness for a murder which i did. A murder which I did in this broad day light. I seek your forgiveness for that gory blood bath..! I confess that I murdered my soul.!!! It was all its fault. It didn't deserved living here.
It just couldn't be selfish which everyone forced it to be...!
It just couldn't be manipulative which everyone expected it to be...!
It just couldn't be concealing which everyone thought it should be...!
It faced a lot of torture for things which it was required to do. How dare it oppose the things?
I just wanted to give it its final punishment and to be frank simply deserved it. I served the purpose of an executioner and relieved it from its so called chain of expectation and deliverance..! I enacted the role of a leader of these people and murdered it. I have no regrets but i still regret it. I took away life from a soul but i'm happy because I brought its misery to an end. An end which was not destined but an end that was shown so as to avoid an unfateful end...

Today I seek your forgiveness for this crime of mine. Please forgive me and give rest to my soul.
Its not that my soul didnt deserve this world but its just that this world didnt deserve my soul. This world made me a murdere and I'm getting away with a murder...!!

Amen.
A soul less creatur carrying his dead soul on his shoulder seeking your forgiveness and searching a place to bury the dead.

Paradox of life...

When we're young kids we've got our parents to live for so no time to die...
When we are in adulthoon again no time to die coz that's supposedly the time to live...
By the time we are mature again no time to die coz then we again have a family to live for...
And when comes the time to die there comes a thought to live...!!

Is that a paradox or an irony?
That's upto you to decide.. I showed the mirror - my job is done!

Some one liners...

I fake my happiness so that they don't see the tears I cry...

You say you see things but I say you see nothing...

I need you because I want you because I don't know who I am...

There are 2 roads to walk down and one road to choose...

Resilliant by force not by choice...

The illusion of trust is more painful than reality of distrust...



PS: Some of these are not mine but still i've kept them in my blog as I felt they've touched me at some point of time.

....YES ALTHOUGH....

Yes i am alone although i have people around me whom i call as my friends...
Yes i am happy although what i call the sadness is what fills the aura around me...
Yes i feel like laughing although tears are just ready to trickle down...
Yes i feel so complete so full although its the emptiness that is filling me all around...
Yes i feel like learning and thinking of something new although old thoughts still continue to haunt me...
Yes i feel like taking rest and enjoying although just the start of the off puts me back onto the highway for hell...
Yes i feel like writing although when i feel so i am short at words...
Yes i feel like saying YES although NO is all i can hear from within...
Yes i can understands the biggest of complexities although the simplest of questions freak me out...

No moments can be sweeter than what you gave to me today..
No reality can be beautiful than what we shared today. . . . . .

The Reason

you know now i have found the reason for my dual feeling of sadness and the hapiness together...
Happy coz haziness of things finally cleared out and sad coz they were not in my favor but it doesn't matters. In this life you win some and you loose some..!
But i'm still a game for all the good things of life coz life is one and live it KING SIZE!!!

Here i am. . .

In this life you win some you loose some. I have lost so much that there is nothing more left to loose. The positive of this is its time for me to win...
So guys n gals beware, i'm back coz its my time now and the best is yet to come
Coz you win some and you loose some...!!

Last night

As i lay in my bed...
tears trickled down my eyes
with my face buried in the pillow
only time was there who made them dry...

Wanted to cry and let it out but just couldn't..
dont know the reason and finally felt the hands of some one whom i knew well
The well known shadow of sleep covered me and provided me the solace
and took away all my tears....


BUT..................

I am sad and i am happy..!

I'm sad and yet happy..thats a new feeling that i've discovered for my self.. trying to figure out the reason for that but no fruits of sucess till now..May be its coz of things happening in my heart, soul and mind or maybe its coz of things which i fail to realise or things which i dont wanna realise or maybe the reason is still yet to be found..Seems strange but thats the way it is for me...

I AM WHAT I AM, LIKE ME OR HATE ME I GIVE A DAMN.!!

I am neither a christ nor a philanthropist...
I am everything contrary to a christ,and philanthropy seems worthless in comparision to what i believe in. I will fight with all the weapons within my reach rather than let myself be naild to a cross or whatever
m just too simple for this extraordinary worldbut too unpredictable among the predictable people.I have my own rules to live my life and sometimes just for kicks,to boost my rebellious nature I like to break them. i can be electrocute for some ppl,donot trust anyone,i m brutally honest,straightforward and that wat makes me rude for those who pretend,very articulate about my feelings,very rebellious,a bonafide person. my frends call me unconventional n bizzar.but i have ability to embolden my frends n family.
As im practical i know one thing "NO BODY CARES"NOBODY gives a SHIT about you.People are DEBAUCHED if u keep this thing in your mind then u'll be the happiest person in this whole world.
So dont tell me that u care about me,i can hardly belive it.

Realities of the life-I

Beware of the life
-->It'll kick ya the hardest at the time when you are down the most and will hit ya in such
a manner that it'll hurt ya the most.!

-->Never expect anything from life. The only expection you should have is the expectation for every unexpected thing.!


More to follow soon. . .

Just spare a moment fort his thought

Ever wondered why you at times feel alone walking amidst a bunch of fellas
walking with loads of pals
walking with people who care for you....
Try to think and you'll discover a new dimension of your life. A dimension where its only you
YOu are the one fighting with yourself
questioning yourself for everything you did and what all you didn't bother to do...
A world where no one is with you and there are no mirages to ellude you and give you pseudo happiness...
When you get into that dimension and start exploring it then you will realise that this world is not what it seems but is a lot brighter and pure than anything could be...



TO get onto the ride of this world just spare a thought and realise what is going within you
and then you'll find a new buddy for ya and the one that'll never leave ya alone no matter how far you go
how fast you move
how rude you be and then you'll realise yourself....

What's this life for?????

you are achieving what you want...
Losing things what you don't want to...
Going on high at times and bunging into the lows..
At times darkness is what is there all around and sometimes light may be the sole companion..
Sometimes noise is what soothes you and at times the muzik may be the crash to the head..


Running after dreams that have been there in the eyes ever since started believing in the power of them... knowing very well that they are still unmaterialised but still the feel of acheiving them drives me to go after them...

At every step finding a new reason for the question What this life is for...
The new the answe the more the complications that develop in my drive to find the answer question. . .