Baadal barsa aur mann bawra tarsa!!

aaj baadal kuchh aisa barsa,

aankhon se paani behne ko tarsa..

Mann se kuchh nikle is baat ko hua tha ek arsa,

dil mera reh gaya tha akela sa..

Aankhon main ek sailaab sa bhar gaya tha,

aur aaj wo is baarish main nikalne ko utsuk sa tha..

Har samay raha hai mann ko behalane ka prayatan sa,

par aaj wo bawla na maane kuchh bhi aaisa..

Puchha usse maine ke kyon hai tu aisa,

to bola main tha nahi ho gaya hoon aisa..

Dard roka hai sab se chhupa kar,

Dikhayi hai hasi chahe raha ho kitna bhi ro kar,

dekh kar uski aisi vyatha,

dil ke pass kuchh nahi bolne ko tha..

Dil se niklai thodi si hasi,

dekh kar aankhen samajh gayi ke us main bhi wohi tanhai hai basi..

na jaane kab se tha wo bhi tanha,

par dikha wo hamesha sab ke sang tha..

Aaj baadal kuchh aisa barsa,

ke ab aankhon ke saath dil bhi rone ko tha tarsa..!

But I had a thought

Thought i would be never back with the same pen again but here I am…
Thought i would be never back at the same circle again but here I am…
Thought the dam was completely sealed but here are a few re-surfacing cracks…
Thought the goose bumps from the less known path were a goner but here they are…
Thought that it was just a rough patch and here i see myself on the path made of that patch…
Thought the days would be at least a little fun but here they are back haunting me again…
Thought the thoughts are gone but how could i forget that they are mine to stay…
Thought the story of leaving the sick horse behind was history but here is history back as present…
Thought that life was so unfair to me but then I had a thought…

I saw an egg and thought does the life breeding inside knows will it ever materialize, but once alive the chicken never lets it go because it got what I thought was so unfair with me…

I saw a tree and thought does it know how long it is gonna last? Someone may pluck its fruits, cut its branches or may even burn it down but still it enjoys each and every swish that it can get of the fresh air…

I saw a phoenix, it burns yet it lives to the fullest, dies and again is up to live again coz it values the life it’s got…

I saw a kid and thought does he know how much troubles he may have to face in the life? Life may be troublesome but still he lives each and every moment that comes his way…

I saw myself, there was a kid inside me who was dying to live for the today but I was making it to live for tomorrow…

No I don’t want to be a killer of a child
I killed my soul, blamed my body to make the matter mild…

The child has to grow, it’s my soul, it’s my phoenix,
I will not let it die for thinking it to be a jinx…

My soul my child will stay alive,
It will survive as it chose to revive.

To make my soul grow let it live will be my correction,
That will be my repentance my resurrection.

Where am i going...

I was sitting last evening moving speedily, my mind was pondering the bike is moving but where am i going?
I saw the road and it was stationary, people were moving, I was moving, mind had its destination but i didn't knew where am I going...
I sat for a while, closed my eyes, my mind raced to fathom the far away distances but my body was stationary because i didn't knew where i was going...
Reached home, completed my work, lied down for a while and then my mind raced but this time for my body to find an answer for why it doesn't knows where am i going...
Got up this morning and got ready for office, i was going to the office, but still i didn't knew where i am going...
I got hold of the wind rushing by my side and asked it, is this the path where i wish to go? It didn't answer but rushed away even faster.
I asked the dark clouds shadowed over the sky, is this where i wanted to go? Is this what i dreamt to be? Is this what I was passionate for? The clouds too didn't say anything but poured down on me. I couldn't decode the message sent that whether those were the tears of joy that i realized that I am yet to find where I wish to go or were those the tears of sadness that i didn't knew where am I going...
I still don't know where I am going. But do you?
Are you going on the path you wanted to?

Dear Lord,
Today I seek your forgiveness for a murder which i did. A murder which I did in this broad day light. I seek your forgiveness for that gory blood bath..! I confess that I murdered my soul.!!! It was all its fault. It didn't deserved living here.
It just couldn't be selfish which everyone forced it to be...!
It just couldn't be manipulative which everyone expected it to be...!
It just couldn't be concealing which everyone thought it should be...!
It faced a lot of torture for things which it was required to do. How dare it oppose the things?
I just wanted to give it its final punishment and to be frank simply deserved it. I served the purpose of an executioner and relieved it from its so called chain of expectation and deliverance..! I enacted the role of a leader of these people and murdered it. I have no regrets but i still regret it. I took away life from a soul but i'm happy because I brought its misery to an end. An end which was not destined but an end that was shown so as to avoid an unfateful end...

Today I seek your forgiveness for this crime of mine. Please forgive me and give rest to my soul.
Its not that my soul didnt deserve this world but its just that this world didnt deserve my soul. This world made me a murdere and I'm getting away with a murder...!!

Amen.
A soul less creatur carrying his dead soul on his shoulder seeking your forgiveness and searching a place to bury the dead.

Paradox of life...

When we're young kids we've got our parents to live for so no time to die...
When we are in adulthoon again no time to die coz that's supposedly the time to live...
By the time we are mature again no time to die coz then we again have a family to live for...
And when comes the time to die there comes a thought to live...!!

Is that a paradox or an irony?
That's upto you to decide.. I showed the mirror - my job is done!

Some one liners...

I fake my happiness so that they don't see the tears I cry...

You say you see things but I say you see nothing...

I need you because I want you because I don't know who I am...

There are 2 roads to walk down and one road to choose...

Resilliant by force not by choice...

The illusion of trust is more painful than reality of distrust...



PS: Some of these are not mine but still i've kept them in my blog as I felt they've touched me at some point of time.

....YES ALTHOUGH....

Yes i am alone although i have people around me whom i call as my friends...
Yes i am happy although what i call the sadness is what fills the aura around me...
Yes i feel like laughing although tears are just ready to trickle down...
Yes i feel so complete so full although its the emptiness that is filling me all around...
Yes i feel like learning and thinking of something new although old thoughts still continue to haunt me...
Yes i feel like taking rest and enjoying although just the start of the off puts me back onto the highway for hell...
Yes i feel like writing although when i feel so i am short at words...
Yes i feel like saying YES although NO is all i can hear from within...
Yes i can understands the biggest of complexities although the simplest of questions freak me out...